It is widely known that one in six couples will face infertility at some point in their lives. What is less commonly recognised is that in about 30 percent of those cases, the issue lies solely with the man. Another 30 percent are attributed to the woman, and the remaining 40 percent involve a combination of both partners.
Despite male factors being a significant part of the equation, is the patient experience—and the support offered—truly equal for men and women?
The Perception of Fertility Issues
In society, fertility is often framed as a predominantly female issue. Most educational resources, support systems, and marketing messages focus on women. When it comes to assisted reproductive techniques, this focus makes some sense—since these procedures involve the female body—but it also sidelines men, whose role is equally critical.
What Is It Like for Men?
For many men, fertility is something they have barely thought about until they start trying to have children. In school, the emphasis is often on avoiding sexually transmitted infections and preventing unintended pregnancies—fertility, for either gender, is rarely discussed.
When men finally visit their doctor for a fertility check-up, many are completely unprepared for the possibility that there might be an issue on their side. For some, that first semen analysis delivers a life-altering blow. Learning that they have poor-quality sperm—or, in some cases, no sperm at all—can be devastating. Unfortunately, this is often where the system begins to fail men.
Lack of Support and Direction
For men with suboptimal semen results, or even for those diagnosed with azoospermia (no sperm), the support system is limited. Beyond generic advice on improving diet and lifestyle, there is often little guidance. The pathway typically leads to a fertility specialist, who is usually a gynaecologist in a fertility clinic. Even at this stage, the focus remains on the female partner.
As couples move toward fertility treatments as the “solution” to their infertility, the man’s involvement fades even further. While the woman undergoes more investigations and tests, men often find themselves sidelined.
The Growing Disconnect
For many men, this process creates a sense of detachment. As the woman undergoes consultations, scans, and treatments, men often feel like mere bystanders. With no further testing or advice offered, they begin to feel like they are simply there to provide a sperm sample. Even if there are concerns about sperm quality, the reassurance that “intracytoplasmic sperm injection will help” is often the extent of the discussion.
Rarely are men encouraged to explore ways to improve their sperm health, nor are they offered deeper investigations. They become passive participants in the process, reduced to sperm donors and emotional support for their partners.
The Pressure of the “Big Day”
The day of egg collection often serves as a culmination of all this pressure. While the woman undergoes an invasive procedure, the man is expected to perform his “simple” task: providing a semen sample.
For many men, this moment is fraught with anxiety. Ushered into a sterile room, handed a stack of well-worn magazines, and expected to perform under pressure, it is far from the intimate vision of creating a family they once shared with their partner. By this point, years of trying, countless doctor visits, relationship strain, and emotional turmoil have taken their toll.
After producing the sample, many men are left feeling embarrassed and disconnected from the process. They then wait for news about fertilisation and embryo development, often receiving updates second-hand through their partner.
The Emotional Aftermath
When the outcome of treatment is revealed, it brings with it a flood of emotions—excitement, worry, or devastation. If treatment fails, the emotional toll is shared by both partners, but the focus remains largely on the woman. Men, once again, find themselves on the periphery.
If another round of treatment is recommended, the cycle repeats. The man’s role remains the same: provide another sample and offer emotional support.
How Men Really Feel
Many men describe feeling like an afterthought during fertility treatment. Appointments are often scheduled under the woman’s name, and men are rarely encouraged to ask questions or given advice on how to improve their fertility. Their involvement is often reduced to one task—providing a semen sample—while their emotional well-being is overlooked. Many feel compelled to stay strong for their partner, believing their feelings matter less.
Moreover, men enter fertility treatment with little understanding of their own fertility or the importance of their role in the process. This lack of knowledge and involvement can leave them feeling disconnected and unimportant.
A Shift in Focus
Fortunately, things are slowly starting to change. There is now more awareness around the significance of sperm health in fertility treatment. Clinics are beginning to adopt a more couple-centric approach, offering men greater support and more thorough investigations. However, there is still a long way to go.
Men need to advocate for themselves and take responsibility for understanding their fertility. This requires greater education and awareness. At the same time, the healthcare system must continue to evolve to ensure that men are fully involved in the process, encouraged to ask questions, and given the support they need.
In short, men need to be seen not just as sperm donors but as equal partners in the journey towards parenthood. By fostering an environment where men feel empowered and supported, fertility treatment can become a more inclusive experience for both partners.